Posted by Carmello, September 20, 2009
"I've been captured at least a hundred times, and you don't see me packing on the pounds," said a catty Princess Peach. In her size 0, pink dress, Princess Peach is the poster princess for any would-be captor. "I know I still look good. Why else would Koopa still be gettin' at me?"
Peach, 28, has been a struggling princess for many years. "King Koopa always kept me on a pretty short leash, so I was never able to exercise," panted Peach as she galloped briskly on an ElliptaGlide, "In those situations it's all about diet."
Fat Princess has been packing on the pounds since being captured, but for her, it is not as simple as diet and exercise, "If I don't eat they'll take me away! It's a defense mechanism," pleaded the fat, Fat Princess, "It's not as simple as it was in her day. Being a princess demands so much more out of you."
Princess Peach understands FP's (Fat Princess) point, but does not agree. "As long as you have a good man to protect you, getting captured doesn't matter!," Peach addressed with indignity, "these new princesses bounce from man to man, and that's the real problem."
As obesity increasingly grows as a rising killer in our nation, Fat Princess shows no shame, crying to her servants, "More Cake, Please!"
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